The Blog

Who’s On Your Life Team?

emotional wellbeing relational wellbeing
relational wellbeing

We were never meant to make it alone. In health. In faith. In relationships. So why do so many of us live as soloists instead of duos?

I, for one, am guilty as charged. I can spend too much time alone and secluded. But when I think back on the best, most significant moments in life, they involved other people. Partnerships.

If you’re in a living, breathing soul (that would be you), you’re surrounded by people. All kinds. Ones who are like you and ones who are, well… not. Maybe you’ve discovered the power of being part of a great partnership. Everything jives, syncs, and you are better because of it. So is everyone else.

More than likely, you’ve also been part of a group or partnership that hasn’t worked. Maybe it was a sports team or a work group. Or a marriage. Simply put, those experiences stunk.

Fit matters. Whether you’re looking for a work environment, counselor, personal trainer, friend, or spouse, compatibility reigns. It makes all the difference between you being the best version of you or staying stuck right where you are. Or worse. Going backward.

So how do you find the right fit?

Here are 3 tips to build a strong life team:

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask (or tell). Back in 2007, I needed to get back on the health wagon. I was sick, unhappy, and out of shape. When I saw an infomercial for P90X, I knew I needed to give it a go. So I asked (aka – told) my husband, Kevin, he’d be doing it with me. Being the amazing guy he is (not sure how he puts up with me) he agreed. Not only did I get healthier and happier, but so did he. 9 years later, we’re both still pressing play, and for him it’s at 5am every morning. The accountability is built-in every single day and we are so much healthier because of it.
  2. Know your strengths. Have you ever taken StrengthsFinder 2.0? As a self-proclaimed assessment geek, I love to take tests that identify personality traits, strengths, and even dysfunctions (I won’t share mine if you don’t share yours!). StrengthsFinder 2.0 is one of the best and most practical ones I’ve taken. It’s helped me make decisions countless times. Once you know yours, have your colleagues, friends, spouse, and even kids take it, too. It’ll help you understand them and why they bug the tar out of you...or why you love them so much. You can also bring people alongside of you who will complement your strengths and fill in the gaps for you. My “deliberative” strength is counterbalanced by Kevin’s “adaptability” strength. I change my mind, and he goes with the flow. Perfect combo.
  3. Listen to Kelly Clarkson. What? For real. If you’re starting to feel like “Miss Independent” it’s time to connect. Consider, who’s going to love you, even your “Dark Side?” Do they make you feel “Invincible” and “Stronger?” Or do they make you want to “Walk Away” or “Breakaway” from a toxic relationship. If you realize “My Life Would Suck Without You,” stick around. Seriously though, who or what environment accepts you, loves you, encourages you, and even challenges you? If you’re finding it’s a one-way street, don’t be afraid to say goodbye. Life’s too short for “People Like Us” who want to thrive.

Life is messy. Sometimes you’ll get hurt. But never, ever stop looking.

If you’re realizing you’re a solo act, take the first step toward connectivity today. Find some backup singers or another solo act willing to sing a duet.

If you need a partner in health and wellness, consider me a candidate. Maybe I’ll be the right partner for this next season of your life. I’ve been on a lot of teams.

And I'd be honored to sing a duet.